the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
