Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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