i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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