Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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