you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
