so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
