if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
