Have you finally orgasmed yet?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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