So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
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