i need an iv and a liver transplant
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
