Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
