help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
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We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I currently don't understand fingers.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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