I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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