I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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