I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
