I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
