People in love make me want to vomit
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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