You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
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Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
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He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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