we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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