3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
