He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water