Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...

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(412): And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas... http://tfl.nu/n2co

Replies (1) Good night (755) Bad night (1030)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.

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(336): He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid. http://tfl.nu/xe46

Replies (27) Good night (638) Bad night (4829)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside

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(419): Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside http://tfl.nu/uown

Replies (48) Good night (656) Bad night (7521)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze

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(303): I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze http://tfl.nu/sp88

Replies (51) Good night (997) Bad night (7508)
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(419): View more from Ohio

It'd be like medium rare by now.

(1-419): View more from Ohio

I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.

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(419): It'd be like medium rare by now. (1-419): I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat. http://tfl.nu/d8mh

Replies (9) Good night (1676) Bad night (3524)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"

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(647): Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those" http://tfl.nu/90p2

Replies (10) Good night (944) Bad night (3058)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.

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(616): Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this. http://tfl.nu/uew9

Replies (12) Good night (3814) Bad night (1298)
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(226): View more from Ontario

Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?

(226): View more from Ontario

Don't answer that. It is bad.

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(226): Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice? (226): Don't answer that. It is bad. http://tfl.nu/e65p

Replies (5) Good night (1195) Bad night (753)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.

(1-715): View more from Wisconsin

I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)

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(715): If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real. (1-715): I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;) http://tfl.nu/oqj0

Replies (2) Good night (970) Bad night (260)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?

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(859): And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck? http://tfl.nu/pzcv

Replies (9) Good night (388) Bad night (794)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.

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(662): He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it. http://tfl.nu/e1a5

Replies (5) Good night (1037) Bad night (191)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.

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(901): Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department. http://tfl.nu/zcc1

Replies (4) Good night (509) Bad night (216)
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(305): View more from Florida

why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?

(908): View more from New Jersey

i hope they name him Joffrey

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(305): why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much? (908): i hope they name him Joffrey http://tfl.nu/u3f8

Replies (8) Good night (1120) Bad night (210)
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(585): View more from New York

Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?

(1-585): View more from New York

Or possibly end in a restraining order?

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(585): Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy? (1-585): Or possibly end in a restraining order? http://tfl.nu/8n7h

Replies (8) Good night (550) Bad night (204)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night

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(440): Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night http://tfl.nu/buf5

Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (213)

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