just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood