all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.