My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize