My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He did a backflip because drugs
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