i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
