somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
