why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
They left me at home... I'm a liability
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
