i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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