You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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