Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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