Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I need a beard to bite.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize