there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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