I could have mohawked her pubes.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
