I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
