i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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