Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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