So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
