I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
