I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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