I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
