thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
