Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
