So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
