Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
