her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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