singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
