So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Randomize
