well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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