i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize