Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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