Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
His nipple licking is glorious
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