so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
