remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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