Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
