I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
