There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
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I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
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He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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