I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm both gender and math confused
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
