So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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