I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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