Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
