we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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